IF
I SHOULD LIVE A THOUSAND YEARS
MY
MEMORY SHALL NOT FAIL
I
CAN'T FORGET THE DAY THEY LOCKED
ME
IN THE COUNTY JAIL
THEY
ROLLED MY FINGERS IN THE INK
A
MUG SHOT OF MY FACE
IN
ALL MY LIFE I'VE NEVER BEEN
IN
SUCH A DISMAL PLACE
THEY
HAD ME STRIP OFF ALL MY CLOTHES
WITH
MUCH EMBARRASSMENT
I
SQUATTED, AS THEY SEARCHED ME NUDE
AND
SEEMED TO BE CONTENT
THEY
FELT MY CLOTHES AND ALL THE SEAMS
AND
THEN WHEN THEY WERE THROUGH,
THEY
GAVE THEM BACK TO ME AGAIN
BUT
THEY RETAINED MY SHOES
THEY
TOOK AWAY ALL THINGS THAT I
HAD
BROUGHT WITH ME FROM HOME
THE
ONLY THING THEY LET ME HAVE,
WAS
THEIR DAMN JAILHOUSE COMB.
NO
GLASS, NO STRING, NO BELTS OR THINGS,
THAT
MIGHT CAUSE INJURY,
THIS
PLACE IS SO DEPRESSING THAT
THE
THOUGHT MIGHT COME TO ME
EACH
STEP I TOOK ALONG THE WAY
I
HEARD STEEL DOORS SLAM CLOSED
THE
FEAR AND DREAD THAT FILLED MY MIND
WAS
MORE THAN I'D SUPPOSED.
THEY
LOCKED ME IN A 5 BY 6
TWO
PEOPLE TO A CELL,
WHERE
ONE COULD STAND AND ONE COULD SIT
I
THOUGHT THIS MUST BE HELL
DEPRESSED
I SAT UPON MY BUNK
AS
I SURVEYED THIS PLACE
EACH
PAIR OF EYES, STARED BACK AT ME
EACH
TOUGH AND HARDENED FACE
A
WORLD OF DIRTY GREEN AND GREY
OF
CONCRETE, GLASS AND STEEL
A
SICKNESS DEEP WITHIN MY GUT
IS
ALL THAT I NOW FEEL
I
CAN'T BELIEVE ITS HAPPENING
I
CAN'T BELIEVE I'M HERE
I
FEEL I'LL VOMIT IF I MOVE
I'M
TREMBLING WITH FEAR
A
STEEL CAGE THAT'S COLD AND DAMP
IF
THEY'LL JUST LET ME BE
AFRAID
TO SPEAK, I MIGHT SAY WRONG
THEN
THEY WOULD TURN ON ME
NO
SHOES UPON MY STOCKING FEET
MY
SOCKS SOON TURNED TO GRIME
I
HOPE I HAVE ENOUGH TO LAST
TILL
I HAVE SERVED MY TIME
THEY
PLAY THEIR CARDS AND TALK OF SEX
THAT'S
ALL THERE IS TO DO
I
WONDER IF MY MIND WILL WARP
BEFORE
MY TIME IS THROUGH
THEIR
LANGUAGE IS ALL GUTTER TALK
THEY'RE
HARDENED TO THE CORE
SPRINKLED
WITH SOME JAILHOUSE TERMS
THAT
I'VE NOT HEARD BEFORE
MEALS
ARE BAD BEYOND DESCRIPTION
WORSE
THAN YOU MIGHT THINK
DIRTY
CUPS AND PLASTIC WARE
AND
FINGERS STAINED WITH INK
JUST
BREAD AND WATER INSTEAD OF FOOD
WOULD
BE A SIMPLE TREAT
THE
COFFEE IS LIKE DRINKING MUD
AND
I JUST CANNOT EAT
MY
CELLMATE ASK, "WHAT YOU IN FOR?"
AND
AFTER I REPLIED
I
ASK THE SAME, THE ANSWER CAME
MADE
ME FEEL SICK INSIDE
"MURDER"
WAS THE ANSWER THAT
WAS
RINGING IN MY EARS
IT
MADE ME APPREHENSIVE AND
MY
MIND WAS FILLED WITH FEAR
THE
DAYS WERE LONG AND LONELY
SEEMS
I CRIED THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT
MY
CELLMATE TALKED THE LONG NIGHT THROUGH
WHICH
JUST INCREASED MY FRIGHT
THEY
BURN THE LIGHTS ALL NIGHT AND DAY
I
DON'T THINK I CAN LAST
I'LL
BE SO GLAD WHEN THIS NIGHTMARE
IS
FINALLY IN MY PAST
THE
WORLD OUTSIDE, DOES NOT EXIST
THEIR
WORLD FOR NOW IS HERE
JUST
CARDS AND TALK OF FILTHY SEX
THEY
JUST DON'T SEEM TO CARE
ANOTHER
LUNCH, BUT JUST AS BAD
I
GAVE IT ALL AWAY
I
FINALLY STARTED PLAYING CARDS
I
THINK WE PLAYED ALL DAY
MORE
JAILHOUSE TALK WHEN THEY PLAY CARDS
THEY
CHEAT WHENEVER THEY CHOOSE
I
KNOW THEY CHEAT, AFRAID TO SPEAK
I
SIT THERE, SMILE, AND LOSE
THE
RADIO BLARES ROCK AND ROLL
I
KNOW I'LL NEVER LAST
AFRAID
AND TIRED, BORED AND DIRTY
TIME
DOES NOT SEEM TO PASS
BEFORE
I GET OUT OF THIS PLACE
I
THINK MY MIND WILL CRACK
THIS
LOUSY THING THEY CALL A BUNK
GIVES
ME AN ACHING BACK
THE
PILLOWS HARD AND SMELLS OF SWEAT
THE
MATTRESS STAINED WITH USE
MY
BODY SLOWLY TURNS TO GRIME
IT
CAN'T FIGHT THIS ABUSE
THE
HOURS DRAG, THE DAYS ARE LONG
IT
SHOWS UPON MY FACE
I
FEAR IF I SHOULD SLEEP AT NIGHT
I'LL
DIE HERE IN THIS PLACE
MEALTIME
AGAIN, I LOOKED AT IT
THIS
FOOD IS SUCH A JOKE
IF
ONLY I COULD TAKE A BATH
AND
DRINK A COLD "COKE"
MORE
CARDS, MORE CARDS, WE PLAY MORE CARDS
I
THINK I'LL GO INSANE
ONCE
I AM OUT OF THIS HELLHOLE
I'LL
NEVER PLAY THIS GAME
IT'S
LOCKUP TIME, AND OFF TO BED
THE
RADIO HAS DIED
I
LAY UPON THIS DIRTY BUNK
AND
TEARS HAVE FILLED MY EYES
I
THINK OF THOSE OUTSIDE THIS JAIL
AMD
WONDER WHAT THEY DO
I
KNOW THAT I WILL TOSS AND TURN
AWAKE,
THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH
MY
CELLMATE RAMBLES ON AND ON
AND
SAY'S " I WILL GET OFF"
ANOTHER
INMATE SNORES IN SLEEP
WHILE
YET ANOTHER COUGHS
I
CANNOT TELL THE NIGHT FROM DAY
YET
SOON MORE LIGHTS COME ON
I
KNOW BY THIS, THAT IT IS DAY
ANOTHER
NIGHT IS GONE
A
BREAKFAST THAT REPULSES ME
I
GAVE IT ALL AWAY
THIS
MUD THAT THEY CALL COFFEE `S ALL
I
NEED TO START THE DAY
I'M
NOT SURE IF I KNOW THE DAY
SEEMS
I'VE LOST TRACK OF TIME
THE
REALITY OF ALL MY WORLD
IS
HERE WITHIN THIS GRIME
STRIPPED
NUDE, I SHOWERED AND WAS WATCHED
BY
EVERY SINGLE EYE
I
RUBBED DOWN WITH THEIR GRITTY SOAP
MY
SKIN SAID IT WAS LYE
TWO
CELLMATES HAVE AN ARGUMENT
FOUL
WORDS HAVE FILLED THE AIR
EVERYONE
HAS TURNED TO WATCH
BUT
NO ONE SEEMS TO CARE
THEY
ASK IF I WOULD LIKE TO PLAY
BUT
I'LL JUST WATCH INSTEAD
THEN
SOON I'M LOST, WITHIN MY THOUGHTS
AND
LYING ON MY BED
I'M
FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF
AS
I BUT WONDER, "WHY?"
WARM,
HOT TEARS ROLL DOWN MY CHEEKS
AS
I BEGIN TO CRY
THE
MIRROR REFLECTS THE HORROR
THAT
NOW SHOWS UPON MY FACE
YOU
CANNOT HELP BUT LOOK LIKE HELL
IN
THIS DAMN, FILTHY PLACE
THE
GUARD HAS CALLED OUT MY LAST NAME
A
VISITOR FOR ME
MY
MIND IS RACING WILDLY AS
I
THINK, "WHO CAN IT BE?"
I
RUN MY FINGERS THROUGH TANGLED HAIR
AND
BRUSH MY WRINKLED CLOTHES
I
RUB THE TEAR STAINS FROM MY EYES
AND
BLOW MY "SNOTTY" NOSE
THEY
LED ME THROUGH A MAZE OF HALLS
ALL
EYES TURN AS WE PASS
THEN
FINALLY TO A TINY ROOM
ONE
WALL WITH WINDOW GLASS
WE
TALKED TEN MINUTES, MAYBE MORE
TIME
WENT SO FAST IT SEEMS
BEFORE
I KNEW IT, YOU WERE GONE
AND
SO WERE ALL MY DREAMS
THEY
LED ME BACK THROUGH HALLS AND STAIRS
BACK
TO MY STEEL CELL
IF
I WERE GIVEN ANY CHOICE,
I
THINK THAT I'D CHOOSE HELL
I
LAY UPON MY BUNK IN THOUGHT
DEPRESSION
NOW SETS IN
I
THINK ABOUT THE ONE I LOVE
AND
THEN THE TEARS BEGIN
HOW
LONG I CRIED I DO NOT KNOW
IN
TIME I HEARD A SHOUT
THE
JAILER HAD CALLED OUT MY NAME
"COME
ON, YOU'RE GETTING OUT"
THE
END?
no, it is the beginning, I have learned my lesson.
This
was written, based on a description relayed to me, of
Jail conditions from a female's perspective, after she did a few weekends for DUI |